Orange
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: It was there. Watching. Always watching. A being more supreme than ever conceived before. Yet it sat right there in front of him. Waiting. Watching. It never made a move, yet it he was sure it would if he looked away. So he stared, and it stared right back at him. Bill has an intense experience with a fruit. "Not just any fruit! An evil fruit! Look at it. It's so... Orange!"


** Disclaimer: I most certainly do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

It was there. Watching. Always watching. A being more supreme than ever conceived before. Yet it sat right there in front of him. Waiting. Watching. It never made a move, yet it he was sure it would if he looked away. So he stared, and stared. It stared right back at him

"It's just an orange Bill!"

"No! It is the embodiment of all evil! That's almost five times more evil than me!"

"Bill, it's not evil! It's just a fruit!"

"No! Look at it! So round. So orange... Why is that orange so orange? Hmmm? Explain that!"

"Perhaps because it's an orange?"

"Nonsense! I must learn it's secret!"

Mabel rolled her eyes and stalked out of the room. It was quite the strange situation really. The demon had shown up in the gift shop disguised as a person. But as he declared his vows of revenge on the Pines family, he stood frozen in his tracks. Dipper had poked him with the broom a few times and had shrugged it off, and Mabel followed soon after. There was no reasoning with that guy.

* * *

It continued to stare at him. What was the secret of this round, orange coloured thing so curiously dubbed an orange? How could this fruit ball contain so much power, and vitamin C? That was it! The Pines twins probably knew, they were keeping the fruit ball's ultimate destiny from him!

He made a move to go find the two brats, but hastily sat down again. It was against the wishes of the almighty fruit ball. He did not even move when the boy came back and threw salt at him, nor when the handy-man smashed a vase over his head in surprise. It was against the orange's wishes. He did not even budge as Stanford Pines yelled at him to get out of the shack, and called him a dumb tourist. It was against the orange's wishes.

The next morning, Mabel found Bill hollow eyed, and greasy haired, still watching the orange in the shack gift shop. She just shook her head and went out to go do her chores. But when she came back 5 hours later, and he was still sitting there, it was the last straw.

"It's. An. Orange. And stop calling it fruit ball!"

The demon protectively scooped up the orange, stroking it as if it were a puppy and not a 3 day old fruit growing mold in places.

"Shhh! Don't let it hear you call it that!"

"Orange, orange, orange, orange!" The girl taunted.

He gave a howl of fright, and in one inhuman motion, covered her mouth.

"Shhhh! You must not invoke the wrath of the great and powerful fruit ball. And besides, everyone knows orange isn't a word. Words don't count if nothing rhymes with them."

Mabel shoved the crazed demon away from her. He fell to the ground as if his bones were made of lead and not bone. Curling into the fetal position with the orange, he began to slowly rock back and forth cradling it.

"Bill! That orange is ruling your existence. "

"There is no existence, only fruit ball." He replied monotonously. "We are all one giant lie, there was no existence, there was no reality. Only fruit ball."

"You're insane!"

"Yes, I am. But you already know that having listened to my conversation with Gideon three years ago."

"How do you know that?!" She asked, slowly backing away.

"It tells me things. It whispers of limitless power and vitamin C, the terrible combination with toothpaste, and it's ever lasting orangey glory."

Stan walked into the shack, just as he heard Bill say the last sentence.

"Ok! That's enough crazy for one day buddy." Stan said, attempting to roll the demon out of the gift shop. "A little help here Mabel?"

"There is no Mabel, only fruit ball." Bill echoed.

Stan slowly backed away, before running out of the shack screaming "Soos, get the holly water!"

"Join me Mabel, and together we shall reign under the power of the fruit ball. Think of the limitless power!"

"You've used that phrase like five times now! Can't you come up with a better description? And never!"

The blank look on his face vanished for a moment before returning back to normal.

"What about empire of doom with you by my side as my queen?"

"Gross, where do you get those pick-up lines? Gideon? I mean, no! And we live in a democracy!"

"The fruit ball is displeased at your yelling." He announced.

"It's not a fruit ball! it's an orange! And it rhymes with _door hinge_ for your information!"

"Soon you shall fall under the power of the fruit ball too. So you should probably just join by my side before things turn ugly."

Mabel expression softened for a second. She helped the demon off the ground.

"Well I guess I could. NOT!" She screamed, taking the orange from his hands.

"NO! My leader! Put it down!"

Mabel ran over to the shack window and threw it outside. She watched victoriously as the moldy fruit of doom rolled, and rolled, until it fell right into the bottomless pit. The demon collapsed on his knees screaming as if in agonizing pain.

"Nooo! The orange! My rein! My queen!"

Mabel gave a smile and said;

"You called it orange that time."

"No screaming in pain in the gift shop!" Stan yelled from somewhere.

He continued to scream.

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

"So you're telling me I was convinced a fruit of all things was evil, I let it control my mind, and I asked you to marry me in the whole time I was blanked out?"

"Yes."

"You're crazy."

* * *

**Moral of the story: Citrus fruits are embodiments of Satan and should be burned and then have their ashes pressed into decorative vases filled with old lady make-up and propri, which are like those sometimes gross scented flowers and dried fruits you see. If you can't tell, I really hate oranges, they smell nice, but taste gross.**


End file.
